Know your COs: An AW Version of Know your Stars!
by 13storytellers
Summary: Remeber that All That short, Know your Stars? Well, WE'RE making a fic about that, staring everyone's favorite COs! Rated T for language, adult themes, and violence. R
1. Andy

**WE may be working on our Advance Wars: Insanity fic, but WE always wanted to do a "Know Your Stars" Fic, and what better topic to do it on than Advance Wars! Our first one to be tormented is Andy. WE do not own Advance Wars or "Know Your Stars."…yet…**

**Andy**

(Andy walks into the KYS studio.)

Andy: "I'm here for the wrench giveaway!"

_Know your stars, Know your stars, Know your Stars!_

Andy: "I'm a star! Wow, I can't believe it…hey, who are you?"

_Andy…he once ate 55 bean burritos…_

Andy: "Ew! That's disgusting! Why in God's name would I ever eat any more that 45?"

_Ok, I really didn't need to know that…_

Andy: "Who are you, anyway?"

_I'm the evil Know Your Stars voice. _

Andy: "Hahahahaha…now really, who are you?"

_Yo mama!_

Andy: "Mommy? Is that really you? I thought you died in that landmine explosion."

_God, I'm not sure whether his gullibility is a blessing, or a liability. Now where was I…? Oh yes! Andy… after eating all those burritos, he farted the French National anthem._

Andy: "No, that was Max on talent night."

Max: "Andy, why did you have to go and tell him that?" (Runs off crying.)

_Too much information. Seriously too much. Andy... his favorite food is puke._

Andy: "Oh my God, you did not just say that! Come here and say that to my face, bastard!"

_Ah…this is more like it!_

Andy: "Hey, come here and let me kill you, cock face!"

_Oooooh…Andy's got a little potty mouth._

Andy: "Shut the $ up and get down here."

_Andy…his real name is Barbie von Poopoopants._

Andy: "That's a girl's name! I'm a guy, dumbass!"

_You just had a surgery done, she male! _

Andy: "What did you call me! Say that again!"

_I would, but it'd overload your little pea brain! _

Andy: "Argh!" (Yells until he passes out from lack of air.)

_Now you know Andy, the 55-burrito-eating, French-National-Anthem-Farting potty mouth she male who used to be Barbie von Poopoopants._

**How did you like it? Be sure to give US any ideas for torture! WE'LL be sure to put your name next to the idea. The next one for torture is Jake. Anyway, R&R.**


	2. Jake

**WE welcome you back to OUR Know Your Stars fic. As you know, WE are accepting any ideas, so remember; the only bad idea is the one you don't send! WE do not own Advance Wars or Know Your Stars, but WE own the Voice. So beware! Beware! Hahahahaha!**

**Jake**

As Andy's unconscious body is dragged off stage, Jake walks into the KYS studio.

Jake: "Whew…that's the last time I play Monopoly with Rachel!"

He sits on the chair

_Know Your Stars, Know Your Stars, Know Your Stars!_

Jake: "Who in the hell is that?"

_I get this question all the time. Screw it. Jake…his music has a recording of the 'Barney the Dinosaur'…_

Jake: (Takes off headphones) "What?"

_(Repeats.)_

Jake: "No I do not! That's as accurate as saying Rachel plays fair during Monopoly!"

Just then, Rachel comes and proceeds to beat the sht out of Jake.

Jake: "Ow ow owowow ow ow!"

Rachel: "Serves you right!" (Leaves)

_I love this job… Jake… he once sold all the tanks in the Orange Star army to get money for McDonalds._

Jake: "Sht! How did you find that out?"

Right then, the entire Orange Star army appears.

Nell: "You did **what!**"

Sami: You could have at least shared it with us!"

Max: "Yeah! At least now we know who to blame for our loses in Omega Land!"

Andy: "Ohh…where am I…?"

Rachel: "I say…we beat the sht out of him!"

And they do just that!

Jake: "Ow that hurts! Why are you doing this to me? …Please let me die…"

They all leave.

_(Munch, Munch) This is better than wrestling! (Swallow.) Ahem…Jake…he's gay…_

Jake: "No I'm not!"

_Then why do I have this note that says "I am gay, from Jake."?_

Jake: Dawg that is not my handwriting.

_Oh, really? Then I shouldn't have sent this to all of the COs around the world._

(At Olaf's)

Olaf: (After reading the note.) I always knew something was wrong with that boy…

(Back at the KYS studio.)

Jake: "YOU BASTARD!"

_Jake…he is secretly Bart Simpson…_

Homer Simpson: "I knew it! That does it, boy, your coming home!"

Jake: (Being dragged away) "Noooooooooooooooo!"

_Now you know Jake, the gay tank-selling Barney the Dinosaur listener who is Bart Simpson. Neeeeeeext…_

**Well, how did you like it? WE hope you did! The next victim…WE mean, guest…is Max. Send in those reviews and Ideas! **


	3. Max

**Welcome back to Know Your COs! WE will tell you now that the fic will be updated every 2-3 days under normal circumstances, so WE have time to get any ideas. Sorry WE haven't updated, WE had a trip to Philly yesterday and a Family picnic today. As you can guess, WE'VE been busy. Anyway, WE do not own A.W or K.Y.S, and WE also no longer own the voice… that sucks…**

**Max**

After several lawsuits about Jake appearing on 'The Simpsons', the KYS studio opened, as Max walked in and sat on the chair.

Max: This doesn't look like the gym…

_Know Your Stars, Know Your Stars, Know Your Stars…_

Max: Oh boy…

_You know what's coming then?_

Max: Yeah. And I know what happened to the last guy who tried to escape…

_(Shudder) Even **I** admit I got carried away that time… Now then… Max… He's a professional sniper. _

(Courtesy of Yakisoba1234567890)

Max: That is SO not true! Sniping is an idiot's job!

Grit: What was that?

Grit then shoots at Max, but Max dodges every shot.

Grit: Sh$t. Out of ammo. Wait here while I get more. (Leaves.)

_Max…his mother is a big fish who eats his nuts._

(Also from Yakisoba1234567890)

Max: No she is not!

_Then how do you explain this! _(Holds out a picture of…WE'RE not typing that…)

Max: (Nervously) It's a fake! A lie, like all of the other things you said!

_No it isn't._

Max: Yes it is!

_No it isn't._

Max: Yes it is!

_Yes it is…_

Max: No it isn't! Sh$t! I mean…

_Hah! It's too late. I've got it recorded!_

Max: D'oh!

_Max…he's wearing Anchor Arms from Spongebob Squarepants._

Max: No I'm not! These are real muscles, you see! (Flexes, but they fall off.)

_Hahaha! I must be lucky today or something! This is too much! Hahaha!_

Max: I'm gonna kill you!

Then suddenly, Grit comes back with a bazooka.

Grit: I told you I'd be back. (Aims.) Dodge this.

He fires, and Max explodes into millions of little pieces.

_Now you know Max, the spawn of a nut-eating fish who became an Anchor Arm-wearing sniper and is now a bunch of little bits._

**That's it. Hope you enjoyed it! Next up is Sami! Please R&R! No flames.**

**(A/N: No COs were harmed in the making of this chapter. Except Max. He felt a big load of pain.)**


	4. Sami

**After many good ideas and some bad ones that WE'RE gonna use anyway, WE'VE decided to update. WE also would like people to post on our Forum, CO Chat. Anyway, WE do not own AW or KYS, and that sucks, cause with the voice, WE can continue to rule the world.**

**Sami**

After a strange chain of events during Max's funeral that caused him to come back to life, the KYS studio reopened.

Sami walks in.

Sami: Hey, where's the free chocolate?

_Know your stars, Know your stars, Know your stars…_

Sami: Huh? Who's that, and where's the free chocolate?

_There is none._

Sami: What? You cheap ass cock-sucker! You'll pay for making me come all the way here!

_Sami…Eagle's cheating on her for Sonja…_

(From Cardmaker22)

Sami: What?

Eagle: I can explain! That guy's lying.

Sonja: Eagle, dear, are you ready to go…

Sami: EAGLE!

Eagle: Oh, shit…

Sami then proceeds to beat up Eagle and Sonja.

_Sami…Nell wants to kill her…_

(Also Cardmaker22)

Nell: (Sharpening a knife) Soon, she'll pay for calling me a skill-less ugly loser.

Sami: OMG!

Nell: Uh... (Hides knife) I wasn't doing anything! (Whistles)

Sami: I'm just gonna forget that happened…

_Sami…She likes to study…_

(From romantic-cancer)

Sami: That is SO not true! I'm not a geek like that geek Sonja!

Sonja: That's why Eagle chooses me over you! At least I have a brain!

Eagle: I only said we'd be friends, Sonja!

Sami then beats them up again.

Sami: Serves you right!

_Sami…She likes infantry because they're cheap so she can save money for a boob job._

(From Yakisoba1234567890)

Sami: That is SO wrong.

Andy: So THAT'S where all our money's been! You little… (Thinks) On second thought, carry on.

Sami: Pervert…

_Sami… The head band she wears hides her third eye._

Sami: No it doesn't! I wear it because I look better in it!

_No you don't._

Sami: Argh! I hate you!

_Sami…she slips crack into her chocolate…_

(From The One True Koneko)

Max: So that's why you were so weird acting on talent night!

Sami: At least I didn't fart the French National Anthem!

_Oh…this is GOLD! And I've got it all recorded!_

Andy: We're gonna get you!

_Oh…Andy says they'll get me! I'm sooooooo scared! Now where was I? Oh yes! Sami…she's a lesbian. _

Suddenly, two guys from the FCC appear and grab Sami.

FCC Dude: There can't be any lesbians slash gay people in video games, only in movies and books.

Sami: What are you, nut? I'm as strait as a line!

_Yeah, a curved line._

FCC Dude2: Thank you, citizen. As for you…

Sami: Heeeeeeeeeeeelp!

_Now you know Sami, the crack-head lesbian who has a third eye who gets money for a boob job, who Nell wants to kill and Eagle is cheating on for Sonja and likes to study. Dang this was a long chapter._

13storytellers (First personality): And they'll only get longer, so get used to it!

_Yes, master._

**Well that's it. R&R, now! Post on CO Chat, please. Next up is Nell.Also, WE would like to say that Sami was released from federal prison after 3 days for proof of straightness. (She Kissed Eagle. Click, Click.)**


	5. Nell

**WE are very sorry for the delay. There was an error on our computer that stopped us from submitting documents, but WE'RE back. However, WE are a little disappointed. Only one idea? Come on, people! WE'RE practically giving you the chance to determine what the fic says! Meh…whatever. WE do not own AW or KYS, and Hawke lost every penny he owns to US in a bet! Woohoo! **

**Nell**

Nell walks into the KYS studio and sits on the chair.

Nell: This doesn't look like the casino. I was hoping to show off my incredible luck here.

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars!_

Nell: Hey, who are you?

_Nell…she believes in voodoo._

Olaf: Hey, Nell may be a crazy superstitious bastard…

Nell: Hey, what's that supposed to mean?

Olaf: But she isn't into voodoo!

Nell: (Poking needles into an Olaf doll) Superstitious bastard, am I?

Olaf: O…k, maybe I was wrong. (Mutters) Crazy superstitious bastard.

_Nell…she is planning to join Black Hole._

Andy: You bastard!

Nell: Why is everyone calling me a bastard?

The other Orange Star COs and a few other COs beat up Nell, and then they leave.

Nell: I can't feel my face…

_Nell…she's cheating on Max…_

Max: WHAT? I thought we (sniff) had something (sniff) special.

Grit: Hah! She's still loyal to me!

_And Grit…_

Grit: Oh… (Animie style gloomy background.)

_For Hawke…_

(The Nell cheating thing was courtesy of The One True Koneko.)

Hawke/Nell: EWWW!

Max: You son of a bitch!

Grit: I'm gonna kill you!

Hawke then beats up Max and Grit. They have bruises all over their faces.

Hawke: Next time, I'll aim lower…

Max: Make the pain stop…

Grit: I'm seeing colors that were never meant to be…

_Nell…you have 3 seconds to live…_

Nell runs around screaming and then falls to the floor.

Nell: …I'm not dead! You asshole! I was scared to death!

_Now you know Nell, the cheating voodoo believer who is going to join Black Hole and has 3 seconds to live._

Nell: That's not true! Just you wait until I get my next doll ready! Then you'll pay!

_Crazy superstitious bastard…_

**Well, that's it! Next up is Rachel! R&R! Post on the CO Chat forum! WE command you to! Or at least WE ask you to. Please?**


	6. Rachel

**Welcome back. WE must admit, WE'RE****a little…disappointed. WE give you extra time, and WE only get a few ideas. Oh, well. That's life. WE do not own AW or KYS, but WE'RE trying!**

**Rachel**

After Nell left, Rachel walked into the KYS studio and sat down.

Rachel: Well, that's the last time I EVER pull out Jake's headphones…

_Know your stars, Know your stars, Know your Stars…_

Rachel: Oh my God! Where did that voice come from?

_Here…_

Rachel: Why can't I see you?

_Because…Hey, why **do **they never see me? Oh well. Back to business. Rachel…she's friends with Kindle and Koal…_

(From Yakisoba1234567890 and Hiro Konobu)

Rachel: No I am NOT! Why would I ever hang around that freaky little stick figure and that gross runt?

Kindle: Hey! I'm not stick figure!

Koal: And I'm not a runt!

Rachel: Yes, you are.

Kindle/Koal: Oh, yeah, you're right. But I'm not a freak!

_This is better than a movie. (Ahem.) Rachel…She wishes Sami was her sister instead of Nell._

(From The One True Koneko)

Sami: No wonder Nell wanted to kill me! Damn you!

Sami then beats the Sh$t out of Rachel and leaves.

Rachel: Ouch…

_Rachel…she doesn't really command her troops…_

Rachel: I do, to! If I don't than who does?

_You're pet cat._

Rachel: I don't HAVE a pet cat! Besides, any animal would have to be smart to command, so that means…

_You're not able to command, but your pet can! So that must mean you're dumb!_

Rachel: No, I meant an animal COULDN'T command.

_Why should I listen to an idiot?_

Rachel: Ahhh! I hate you!

_Rachel…She says Nintendo is gay…_

13storytellers: How DARE you! Nintendo is the company that made the game system you appear in. Besides, Nintendo is just awesome.

Rachel: Who the hell are you?

13storytellers: WE are the author. WE have power you'd never believe. Look. (Points a finger, and the chair turns into a toaster. Rachel falls in.)

Rachel: Ahh! It burns!

13storytellers: Told you. (Turns toaster back into chair) The author can do what they want. So, then… (Rachel disappears.)

_Where is she?_

13storytellers: Antarctica.

**At Antarctica**

Rachel: Help! Somebody, help!

**At the KYS studio.**

_Now you know Rachel, the Nintendo-hating idiot who has her pet command her troops, hangs out with Koal and Kindle, and wishes Sami was her sister…and is now in Antarctica._

**Well, that's the chapter! WE know, WE keep appearing, but it's funny! Anywho, next is Hatchi, so post ideas, R&R, and head to the CO Chat Forum. **


	7. Hatchi

**Sorry about the delay, but WE'RE back! WE'RE gonna be busy for a while. WE must admit, this was a hard thing for ideas, so WE'LL just use our own. (Sorry to those who posted ideas.) WE do not own AW or KYS, but soon WE will, and when WE do, WE'LL…uh…do something.**

**Hatchi**

Once Rachel is rescued from Antarctica and thawed out of a chunk of ice, Hatchi walks into the KYS studio.

Hatchi: Where am I? Which way do I go to the movies?

_Know your stars, Know your stars, Know your star…_

Hatchi: Hey there, freaky voice! Do you have a map?

_No, I don't._

Hatchi: Well, do you know the way to the theater?

_Can we get this over with? I have people to torture! Hatchi…his shop has stolen material…_

Hatchi: Now that's a lie! All of my products are legitimate and rightfully mine!

_Ok then; where did you get them?_

Hatchi: Well…I really don't know. My memory isn't what it used to be.

_Yeah, right…_

Hatchi: Hey! Are you saying I'm a liar?

_Is there anyone else here I can call a liar? I don't think so. Hatchi…he's the oldest living man in the world…_

Von Bolt: You're older _hggg _than me, and _hggg _you don't need_ hggg _life support? What is_ hggg_ your secret? I _hggg _must know!

Hatchi: I'm not that old! ...Am I?

Von Bolt: If you _hggg _won't tell me_ hggg…_then I'll make_ hggg _you die!

Fires electric bolt from chair, and zaps Hatchi and then leaves.

_Ha ha ha ha ha! Now then… Hatchi… he hates young people._

Everyone shows up, except Von Bolt 'cause he's an old fart. They all beat the crap out of Hatchi, and then they leave.

Hatchi: Make…the pain…stop.

He passes out.

_Now you know Hatchi, the oldest living man who hates young people and sells stolen items. That was too easy. Now then, on to Blue Moon!_

**That's it for Orange Star! Up next begins the torment of Blue Moon, starting with Olaf! Any ideas would be appreciated. Also, please post on CO Chat. WE also have good news! On 7/27, WE'LL begin our new fic, White Nova! Only 16 days to go!**


	8. Olaf

**Sorry about the delay, but WE'RE back (again)! WE had just been busy. It was OUR birthday a few days ago! Anyway, WE still do not own AW or KYS, but WE aren't going to stop trying!**

**Olaf**

After all the Orange Star army went crazy from the insults, Olaf went into the KYS studio.

_Know your stars, Know your stars, Know your Stars!_

Olaf: Who is there? Is that you, Grit? Don't try any funny business with me!

_Olaf… he dances naked in the snow on Tuesdays…_

(From the One True Koneko)

Olaf: That's just sick and wrong!

_That's exactly why you'd do it!_

Olaf: You stupid bastard! I'm gonna kill you!

_Oh, I've never heard that before! Olaf… he's really Santa Claus._

Olaf: Is that so? Then where are my reindeer? If there ain't any reindeer, I ain't Santa.

Suddenly, a bunch of reindeer came in.

Olaf: Very funny…

_Olaf…he was once captured by the Orange Star army._

(From tanman1621)

Nell: I don't recall us doing that.

Olaf: That's because it never happened you crazy superstitious bastard!

Nell: Why you… (Kicks Olaf in the...you get it… and walks off.)

Olaf: Owww!

_Olaf…he has breast cancer because he's so fat._

(The One True Koneko again)

Olaf: That does it! Where are you? Tell me so I can rip out your vocal cords and shove them up your ass!

_I'm behind that door that says "Caution: Nintendo Villain Meeting"._

Olaf opens the door, and Sturm, Bowser, Gannondorf, Ridley, Dr Willy and Andross are sitting, discussing stuff.

Bowser: I say we each go to one of the continents, excluding Antarctica. Then we'll take over the world easily!

Gannondorf: Hey, there's a fat guy at the door!

Olaf: I'm not fat! I'm just putting on some weight…

Sturm: It's Olaf. Get him!

The door shuts, and screaming and evil laughter is heard.

_Now you know Olaf, the fat breast cancer patient who dances naked in the snow on Tuesdays, was once captured by the Orange Star army who is really Santa Claus. Man, that guy was **target practice!**_

**Well, that's the Chapter. Next is Grit. You know the rest.**


	9. Grit

**WE are SO sorry for the delay (again, again), but WE just got a new computer and had to set it up. WE do not own AW or KYS, but WE will soon, WE hope.**

**Grit**

Grit is walking around, and sits on the bench.

Grit: I gotta get to the game store and buy the new addition to the 'Progressed Battle' (lol, synonyms to Advance Wars) series, 'Two Attacks'. Them things sell like hotcakes.

**That's not hick talk, that's a stupid old proverb.**

Grit: Huh? Who's there?

**I'm getting to business. Know your stars, Know your stars, Know your stars…**

Grit: I said who's there? Are ya gonna answer or be as silent as a scarecrow.

**That's lame. Grit… he's a pro boxer.**

**(From the One True Koneko)**

Grit: Wait…didn't you do this to Max?

**I, uh, don't know what you're talking about. (Sh!t, this guy is actually smart!)**

Grit: Yeah, ya did! You called him a sniper, and I blew him up, and he somehow came back to life.

**Uh…Grit…He stole Max's weights.**

**(From Hiro Konobu)**

Max: WHAT? So THAT'S were my weights went!

Jake: Uh… yeah, it was Grit… (Laughs nervously)

Max: Well, you want my weights… (Lifts a very big weight over Grit's head) Have it! (Drops it on Grit, Grit come out accordion-style.)

Grit: You're despicable.

**HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I got it all recorded on tape! Oh man, the other KYS voices will LOVE this! Ahem… Grit… he likes to brawl against Max…**

**(From Chunky Monkey of the Funky didn't get rest of name )**

Max: (Cracks knuckles) You just don't learn, don't you. (You can guess what happens)

Grit: Ouch…

**LOL LOL LOL! Grit… he's a result of inbreeding.**

(The One True Koneko)

(Max, Olaf, and Kindle show up and laugh at Grit.)

Olaf: Well, he IS a country hic!

Grit: Hey, come on!

Max: How many toes do you have?

Grit: Ten!

Kindle: Yeah! Ten on each foot! Ah ha ha ha!

Grit: All together!

Olaf: Yeah, just one webbed foot!

O/M/K: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Grit…he says Max, Olaf and Kindle are pathetic COs.**

O/M/K: WHAT?

Grit: Sh!t. (Gets beaten up, and dragged away.)

**Now you know Grit… the Olaf-Grit-and-Kindle-hating hick, who was a result of inbreeding, steals Max's weight while brawling him because he's a pro boxer, and uses lame sayings. **

**Well, that's Grit. Next up is Colin. R&R!**


	10. Colin

**Sorry for the delay. With US beginning our freshman year, WE have less time to update. WE do not own AW or KYS.**

**Colin**

Once Grit was taken to the hospital and diagnosed with BUWTMTIOCS (beaten-up-way-to-many-times-in-one-chapter syndrome), Colin wandered into the KYS studio.

Colin: I was told to come here at 7:35 PM. Now what do I do?

**Know your stars, Know your stars, Know you stars! **

Colin: Hello? Who's there?

**Colin…his nickname is Mini-Me.**

Sasha, Grit and Olaf show up.

Sasha: No it isn't.

Grit: Who would call Colin that?

Olaf just stands there and whistles.

**Colin…he's the shortest character in AW…**

Colin: No I'm not!

**Yes, you are, and to prove it, I've brought in the 3 other shortest characters.**

Lash, Jugger and Koal all walked in.

L/J/K: Where's the free food?

**It's by the audience seats, but first…**

A bunch of yardsticks appeared and measured them.

**The results are in! Colin, you ARE the shortest character. Lash is taller than you by 3 inches. (The one True Koneko)**

Colin: GODDAMIT!

L/J/K: Food!

They rushed to the concession stand.

Koal: Wait… since when did Jugger eat?

Jugger: Who cares!

**Colin…he gets low prices because he runs a sweatshop.**

**(Hiro Konobu.)**

Suddenly, two guys from the Union showed up.

Union guy1: Colin, you're under arrest for abusing workers, running a sweatshop and…

Colin pulls a big sack of money out of nowhere.

Union guy2: Never mind.

Colin: Money. The pen is mightier than the sword…when you use it to write a check.

**Colin…he auctioned off Sasha's diary on EBay.**

Sasha: What!

Colin: I didn't do that! I swear!

Jake: Yeah, he didn't! I have right here in my han…oops.

Sasha then takes Jake's music player and shoves it in his mouth, snatches the diary and walks away.

**Colin…he's Lash's boyfriend…**

**(Alkaline Angel and the One True Koneko)**

Colin: Ugh…why do people think that? I've seen so many Lash/me fics, and there's not even a hint of a relationship between us. (A/N: WE really don't get Lash/Colin fics. There is no real reason for a relationship between them.)

Lash is standing at the door with a bunch of stuff to impress Colin with. She then runs off crying.

**Now look what you did.**

Colin: What?

**Colin…he prefers his own sister to Lash.**

**(Alkaline Angel and Lee3.)**

Sasha: WHAT?

She walks up and slaps Colin so hard he spins like a top and then ricochets around the studio, making pinball noises as he hits the wall. When he stops, he collapses on the floor and the 'Applause' sign says 'Tilt'.

**Cool. Now you know Colin, the guys who's shorter than his girlfriend Lash by 3 inches, is in love with his sister, sold Sasha's diary on EBay, runs a sweatshop and bribes the Union so he won't get in legal trouble, and is referred to as Mini-Me by Olaf.**

Sasha: Just who are you, anyway?

**Hahaha…hehehaha…MWAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**That's the Colin chapter. You all know who's next. R&R and no flames.**


	11. Sasha

**WE are sorry about the very very very very VERY long wait. Truth be told, WE wanted to do this, but whenever WE did, WE didn't have the time. And when WE did have the time, WE didn't feel like it. To make up for it, WE are doing 2 chapters today, finishing Blue Moon and starting Yellow Comet! WE do not own AW or KYS. You'd think after all this time, WE would by now…**

**On a side note, I have created an account separate from my brother's now. If you see any fics who's author is named EnigmaOmega, that's me! **

**Second A/N: I will not be saying who made what idea anymore. Sorry!**

**Sasha**

Once Colin was taken to the hospital, and the voice stopped laughing, Sasha sat down in the KYS chair.

Sasha: Finally! The authors began writing this again!

(In audience) Omega: Hey! Don't blame me! I just never got around to it!

**CAN WE GET ON WITH THIS?!?!?**

Omega: Yes, please.

**Ok… (Ahem) Know your stars, Know your stars, Know your stars!**

Sasha: Who are you, anyway?

**I'm the unbelievable evil KYS voice. I have driven all of OS and BM, except for you, insane! And now it's your turn!**

Sasha: Uh oh…

**Sasha… she has connections to the mafia, and that's how she got so much money.**

Sasha: Nu-uh! I got my money by switching to Geico! (Advertisement money appears on her lap.) See? They pay me to say that! Yay!

Omega: I don't own Geico... god, I hate having to do disclaimers…

**Can I continue? (Ahem) Sasha... She paid Godzilla to attack Tokyo over and over. Omega doesn't own Godzilla. There. I did the disclaimer for you.**

A bunch of Japanese people appear.

Person 1: So it was YOU who caused all this misery we had to endure all these years!

Person 2: And all that time, the movie companies were raking in the money!

Person 3: I lost my grandson in Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla!

Sasha holds up a bag of money, all the people leave with the money.

Sasha: It's all too easy…

**Sasha… She's Jake's slave.**

Sasha: HOLY SHIT! How'd you find out about that?!?

**Wait… I was right?!?!**

Jake: You told him?!? That's it! You're getting punished when we get home!

Sasha: (Gloomy background) Yes, master…

Jake walks off

**Ok, I did NOT need to see that! (Ahem) Sasha… she's bi with Rachel.**

Sasha: How'd you know?!?

**YOU GOTTA BE (BLEEP)ING KIDDING ME!**

Rachel: You told him?!? That's it! You're getting punished later!

Sasha: (Gloomy background) Yes, mistress…

Rachel walks off

**I REALLY didn't need to see that…**

13storytellers: Neither did I…

Omega: I'm the writer, and I didn't see that one coming… by the way, hi brother! (Waves to 13s.)

13s: Yes, yes, congrats on your new account. Just don't screw it up. This fic still goes under my penname, so _I_ suffer for it if your quality slips.

**(Ahem) Sasha… she's not in the next AW game. And neither is anyone else.**

All COs: WHAT?!?!?

Omega: Sadly, it's true. The new game, AW: Day of Ruin takes place in a post-apocalyptic world after meteorites bombard the world, and from what I've seen, none of you guys are appearing. It's still too early to completely determine that, though…

**All the more people for me to torture! YAY!!**

Omega: Back to the matter at hand.

**Ok… Sasha… she's gonna die in 3 seconds.**

Sasha: You pulled that on Nell! I'm not falling for it! (Dies)

**Now you know Sasha, the mafia of Geico working, Godzilla paying, bisexual slave who isn't appearing in the next AW game because she's dead. But she's gonna be revived next chapter like Max was.**

Omega: Yup! Congrats on working so hard, KYS voice.

**Just keep the paychecks coming. **

**That's it for BM! Now onto YC!**


	12. Kanbai

**Ok, people, here's the other chapter. Anything I use in this fic that is copyrighted, I do not claim ownership of for the rest of the fic. There! Now I don't have to do any more goddamn disclaimers!**

**Kanbai**

After the KYS studio opened up in YC, Kanbai walks in.

Kanbai: Ok, I'm here for the free sword sharpener.

**Know Your Stars, Know Your Stars, K now Your Stars!**

Kanbai: AH! A ghost! Show yourself, cowardly apparition!

**That's the first time I've been called THAT… and by the way, I'm not a ghost. I'm an ominous voice.**

Kanbai: Ok, then. (Sits in the chair) So, you said I was a star?

**Kanbai… he's really Samurai Jack.**

Aku appears

Aku: Foolish samurai! You think you can trick me by looking different?!? (Uses laser eyes on Kanbai, vanishes)

Kanbai: What the hell was that?

**A Samurai Jack reference. ****Anyway… Kanbai... failed school 37 times before graduating.**

Kanbai: That's a lie! I counted, it was 34 times!

**Quit sounding so proud of it, you freaking moron… Kanbai… He is a rip-off of Javier's character.**

Kanbai: That's the biggest load of crap I've ever heard in my life! I came out 2 games before that wannabe ever even debuted!

Javier: Wannabe, am I? (Slices Kanbai's right hand, nothing happens) What the?!?

Kanbai: Wow, your sword is pathetic…

**Kanbai… he once cut off his own right hand by accident and he got a robotic one.**

Anakin and Luke Skywalker appear.

Anakin: Hey! You stole our idea!

Luke: Besides, we lost our hands in a duel, not by accident! (they beat up Kanbai using the force and leave)

Javier: Ha ha! Who is pathetic now? (Walks off)

Kanbai: Please, call an ambulance…

**Kanbai… He ate a puppy…**

People from PETA throw a can of red paint on Kanbai

Person 1: Sicko! Puppies have rights, to!

Person 2: Yeah! Let's get him! (They beat him up and leave)

Kanbai: Ok, where the hell are you, so I can come up and kick your ass?

**Just go to that door.**

Kanbai walks into the Villains Meeting, all the villains are still there, and Sturm is wearing Olaf's coat.

Andross: I still say we have doughnut day on Sunday!

Gannondorf: Are you crazy? Saturday is a much better idea!

Ridley: Hey, there's a new guy at the door.

Sturm: That's Kanbai! Get him!

They pull Kanbai into the room, and he screams.

**Now you know Kanbai, the puppy-eating, school-failing, right arm robotic, Javier rip-off who is Samurai Jack. Onto the next one!**

**Well, that's it for the new chapters! R&R! And remember, look for the name EnigmaOmega. Ciao! **


	13. Sonja

**Welcome back! I figured I might as well do another chapter so I don't get into the habit of not updating, and then there'd be another very long wait. Anyway, before I begin, I want to ask if it's possible to move a fic from one author to another. I know the odds are very slim, but if you know any way, I'd appreciate it. Thank you.**

**Sonja**

After Kanbai escaped the villains meeting by suggesting they move doughnut day to Tuesday, Sonja entered the KYS studio.

Sonja: Ok, my father said that psycho voice was here somewhere… (Sits down.) But where?

**Know Your Stars, Know Your Stars, Know Your Stars!**

Sonja: Are you that psycho voice father told me about?

**Finally… the first thing out of my victim's mouth wasn't "Who are you?" **

Sonja: Well, are you the voice?

**Sonja… She's smart because she bought the strategy guides for all the games…**

Sonja: That's not true! I'm smart because I studied, unlike you, who can't even occupy himself except by tormenting others!

**Wow… you're perhaps the 2****nd**** person who ever figured that out…**

Sonja: The 2nd? What happened to the first?

Max: You…don't wanna know…

Sonja: Max? When did you get here?

Max: I'm not sure…

**Sonja… she is plotting to take over Yellow Comet…**

Sonja: No I'm not! That's ridiculous!

**Then what are these notes in your handwriting? **

(Holds out notes that say Operation Take-over-country-while-dad-isn't-looking.)

Sonja: Where did you find those?!?

**I found them on eBay. I bought it from a guy named IMN0ldguy23**

Sensei: Hey, that's my name! So YOU'RE ulTmitEvil666!

**Yes I am! Thank you, old-timer. However, you're next, so don't get comfy.**

Sensei: OK! (Sits down)

Sonja: This can't be happening…

**Oh, but it is! IT IS!!! Sonja… she actually appears in AW: Day of Ruin.**

All other COs appear

Andy: WHAT! I'm WAAAAAY more important than you!

Colin: It's not fair! We could all and up dead!

Drake: That's not fair! What makes YOU special?

Adder: LET'S GET HER!

They all beat Sonja up, and leave.

Omega: On a side note, no you haven't been seen.

Sonja: Why tell them that AFTER they beat me up?!?

Omega: It's funny.

**True, my friend, true.**

Sonja: I hate you so much…

**Sonja… she has a crush on Colin…**

Sonja: EW!

Lash: I should have KNOWN it was you! (Pulls out a flamethrower, burns Sonja, leaves.)

Sonja: Ow…

**Sonja… she's a terrorist.**

Two government agents appear.

Agent1: You're under arrest for terrorism.

Sonja: But I'm not a terrorist!

**Oh really? (Holds out notes for her plan)**

Agent2: That's all the proof we need. You're coming with us. (Hits Sonja on back of head, knocks her and, the agents run off with her)

**Now you know Sonja, the strategy guide-using, evil plotting, Colin-liking, terrorist who is (not) in AW: DoR, and is being taken away to a secret government facility.**

**That's that. You know who's next. And you also know what I'm going to say. So, all I got to say now is… WEIVER! (Hah, review spelled in reverse… subliminal messaging…) WEIVER! **


End file.
